Red Velvet Crinkle Cookies


Don’t you just hate those foot-in-your-mouth moments? You know, when you speak and just as the words are leaving your mouth you are simultaneously thinking that you shouldn’t be saying them. Then, a second later, you recollect… $hit did I actually just say that?!

Well, recently, the hospital I work at has been short nurses on their Pediatric floor… and they decided to start floating me there. Yes, that’s right, me, the girl who has NO kids of her own, just a 1-year-old dog that she psychotically treats like one. Anyway, I was a little apprehensive to begin working there at first, but after a few nights of orientation, I got the jist of things. I channelled all that I learned about Pediatrics in nursing school and I eventually began to feel more comfortable. I started taking patient assignments on my own and before I knew it I was doing everything from dosing medication by mg/kg to crafting turkey puppets by blowing up rubber gloves. I did have a difficult time, however, adjusting to the kid lingo. For instance, ‘abdomen’ means ‘tummy,’ ‘wound’ means ‘boo-boo,’ and ‘to urinate’ means ‘to go pee pee,’ ect. It took me a few shifts, but I finally became fluent in the language of children. And, as it turned out, it was actually a lot of fun taking care of the kiddies. I worked there all last week and had a ball.

The problem was, the next night, when I was floated back to my usual adult floor… I was helping my 72-year-old male patient out of the bathroom and I needed to know if he was able to a bowel movement. So, I asked him in a very friendly voice, “Did you go poo-poo in the potty?” He looked at me as if I were some kind of incompetent wacko who they lent a set of scrubs to for the day. Yup, open mouth, insert foot  cookie, Red Velvet Crinkle Cookie.


Yield: about 4 dozen

1 box Red Velvet cake mix

6 T. butter, melted and cooled

2 eggs

1 t. lemon zest (don’t skip this, it makes a big difference)

1 c. confectioners sugar

1 t. cornstarch

In a small bowl mix the confectioners sugar with the corn starch. In a large bowl, mix together the cake mix, cooled butter, eggs, and lemon zest until well combined and dough forms. Shape dough into 1-inch balls, then roll each in the confectioners sugar. Place on an ungreased cookie sheet and bake at 375 for 9 minutes.

Recipe courtesy of Duncan Hines