If there is anyone on the naughty list this year it is my dog, Tide. In fact, Santa probably wrote his name on there in all caps, bolded, italicised, and underlined it, then highlighted it with a flourescent yellow marker. There is without a doubt this pup should be receiving nothing but coal this year but somehow I find myself making him these Christmas treats. While they were baking I started thinking of all the reasons I should not be. Actually, I came up with 38 good reasons:
my nursing diploma
my Costa del Sol sunglasses
several pairs of Old Navy flip-flops
a baby bird
antique wicker chest
the corner of my coffee table
the egg crate from inside his doggie bed
Jimmy’s John Deere hat
Water for Elephants, a novel
cedar shake siding off a corner of the house
his name emboidered collar
an extension cord
an entire Carrot Cake
Allie’s Mint Choc Chip Cupcakes
Ipod headphones (2nd offense)
motorized air pump used to inflate rafts/small boats
an outdoor patio chair
my hope chest
Better Homes and Gardens, volumes April-July
an underground electric wire to lamppost
my Living Room carpet
my sister’s Living Room carpet
molding from my sister’s kitchen wall
a stack of my sister’s mail
a pair of my sister’s boots
my sister’s outdoor grill cover
gate in my sister’s backyard
lesson plan book for my sister’s 7th grade English class (a crime worthy of the electric chair, in her eyes)
my truck’s cup holders
pack of gum, approx. 2
underwear, approx. 3
bananas from kitchen counter, approx. 5
dish towels, approx. 10
beer koozies, approx. 20
earplugs from Jimmy’s nightstand, approx. 50
the trash, countless times
Not to mention in the mere 9 months he has been alive he has also chewed up a full bottle of Fruit2O overtop of my driver’s seat, peed in my parent’s pool, brought what I think was a dead animal into the house and up onto my bed, and has destructed, destroyed, and partially digested every single toy he has ever owned. Oh yeah, and he eats goose poop.
Most of you will read this post and think what is she crazy baking cookies for a dog that acts like that! But, some of you (suckers like me) will turn to your own dog, look at that cute little face, your heart will melt, and you’ll understand just where I’m coming from. Merry Christmas to all the pampered pups out there!!
1 apple, shredded
1 large carrot, shredded
2 T. molasses
1 c. flour
1 c. rolled oats
1/2 c. water
Mix all ingredients together until well combined. Drop Tbsp-fulls onto greased baking sheet. Bake at 350 for about 10-15 minutes.
I’m making treats for my dog who had done similar damage to walls, carpets, moulding, trash, anything wooden, toys, and eaten her weight in other dog’s food many times. Most recently she found her way into my pantry and downed 3/4 of a jar of $9 a jar almond butter! I totally understand where you’re coming from! Even when they’re bad, they can do no wrong.
Ah! I love it! Jenny, I have a food and humor blog that often has my french/english bulldog in it. It’s her birthday in February, and I have never made dog treats, but I am going to try! So I’m glad you posted. Take care!
OMG! I read some of your blog posts and that is some funny stuff!! I was actually laughing out loud at times!! And, Thunder just might be the cutest little-dog I have ever seen!
Hilarious Jen. I don’t know what’s better your wonderful recipes or your stories tied to them!
So FUNNY!!!! Love it
So FUNNY!! Loved it!
hmm…funny how a good chunk of that list begins with “my sister’s.” I should get the Aunt of the Year award! But ya just gotta love Mar…I mean Tide :)
Yes Aunt Julie you get the award! I was actually expecting you to reply to this naming more things that I may have forgotten. lol
I made dog treats for the first time a few days ago. I must give your recipe a try! :-)